A wry, evocative look at NRI nostalgia, contradictions, and the cultural dance between embracing America and romanticizing India.
I was lost for words when I laid my eyes on this exquisitely curated delight—a heavenly trove brimming with cheese, cucumber, and tomato sandwiches, flanked by crumbly walnut cake, fudgy brownies, and blushpink lemonade. I tucked in this spread, graciously sent to us by the Marriot Resort, while ascending our journey from Dehradun to Mussoorie, with unrestrained glee. And then you could say, “I immediately christened it the Buffet Box!” And since this column is being penned from the mist-veiled, rain-drenched climes of the hills, how could I not begin by tipping my hat to this delectable surprise, so emblematic of mountain hospitality and monsoon magic? Well, for now must put this medley of mountain-made treats aside, and drive this pen to meet its dateline. I have two topics on the top of my mind sparring with each other and so as they say, “May the best man win!” (Wonder why it can’t be, “May the best woman win”?!) Back to the duelling topics on hand or in head—the one on how NRIs reject India takes front seat and the other one shan’t bring up just now.
Suspense is always a good thing right, to be sprung up at the right time! What, in heaven’s, is wrong with, by and large, most NRIs, especially those rooted in America?! Can speak with confidence of the ones that have set up home in the U.S. of A. since I have a whole brood of relatives living there, particularly in California. Well, yes, they do visit the country of their birth, the country where they’ve spent a substantial part of their lives before the golden ‘green card’ shone into their fortunate faces but it’s generally so, to attend family weddings which involves a good deal of shopping of the “lehnga”, “ghainaa”, “sherwani” sorts (a grand incentive, of course!) or the other reason to make it to this Dharti is for `‘Darshan” of the Dev & Devis. Yes, they’ve built quite a few temples in their adopted home but nothing comes near to the temples of India! And if the above two don’t figure in their agenda, then it’s shopping without the reason being a wedding and going all touristy—Agra, Jaipur a must for those glorious back-to-back pictures ! Fine.
To each his own, you say, but then, somehow, early down the line, it does become your business…Whyever do this species, while trying on the 30th pair of sandals, after giving an ecstatic nod of approval to the dozen something of footwear stacked on the side, and rapturously, jubilantly commenting on how cheap (read inexpensive!) the party slippers were, and the formal office ones were made for feet to glide in them despite the 4 inch high stilettos and the suede boots put one on elevating heights…And then they’ll go to the extreme of buying good wishes tags to tape on gift-wrapped presents (of course, wrapping paper too is procured from Bharat!) because in the States, comes the prompt explanation, without you asking, the same sheet that costs a peanut sum of Rs.100 is for a burn-a-holein-your-pocket ,a whopping $10.50! And so roll after roll of flowery wrapping sheets find themselves being peeled off the cardboard tubes much to the delight of the shop-keeper—ah, NRIs are always a pleasure to serve ,as his index finger dances away on the calculator.
Purchases come in all shapes and sizes and if one is in Delhi, then Karol Bagh is the favourite market to haunt, even if it is in the sweat-like-a-swine humid months of July, August & September! Where else would you get laminated tea trays patterned with Cherry Blossoms to give one the straight-fromJapan look or tea cups and saucers painted with English Cottages letting one’s guests get the idea that India was not the only place one spent time in during those three weeks away! However, now must halt, lest this shopping trip leaves no time for other, more serious, matters! Shopping Paradise, well and good, but then why screw up your nose as if a terrible stench had infiltrated your entire being, not only the nostrils; this while walking in the neighbourhood of the brother or sister or whoever of the NRI.
Good Gawd, however, do you live here?! Cows, people, rickshaws, inhabiting the same lane, the thumbs-down face demanding to know…Haven’t they heard of seamlessly peaceful co-existence?! Of the melting pot, the salad bowl, America, proudly since forever, has hailed itself as?! And need the person have to be reminded that not too far back, that it was not another lifetime back, one had been most comfortable, quite oblivious really, of the smells that now made the nose scrunch up and the only way one could duck for cover was not to move out at all…Of course, here in this brood’s defence must say that what is experienced is quite real… Hillock-high garbage piled in chaotic corners with flies swarming overhead, and rats and vermin having a field day, fumes of smoke from different kinds of vehicles mixed with wafts of oil, frying foods from “pakoras” to “jalebis” besides many colliding odours from mismatched fare oozing out of jumbo-sized cauldrons from this or that shop, mingled with more of more… Yes, true they had grown unaccustomed to these robust odours, to these earsplitting visuals but in the same breath, must ask, how is it that a sudden amnesia takes permanent hold of them and their reactions are those of a virgin queen?! (There is a difference between altered persons and transformed ones, right?!) And once “back home” they don themselves in their fancy ethnic wear and with a gusto that would give a 16- year old belle a run for her money, dance away the night—age no bar— celebrating Diwali ,Holi and simply partying with no occasion to hang on to, with their All-Indian friends!
An observation: these NRIs, for the most, are doing exceptionally well careerwise, but still haven’t truly amalgamated there…they may have mastered the system in their fresh homeland but what about truly, sincerely embracing the people beyond the work-space?! They—again I say mostly— remain in their comfort zone amidst their own, discussing Hindi movies, serials and the latest OTT offerings, and all other latest happenings of the country of birth while savouring desi appetizers that’ll be followed by a lavish dinner of dal makhani, shahi paneer, butter chicken etc., etc. with, but obviously, the latest Bollywood music blaring in the background! Nothing is too cacophonic, too noisy now. Nothing is more deliciously comfortable than being an Indian in America with Fellow Indians for Friends tied together by US citizenship!
