JAMMU: This is the first of a number of stories on unsung heroes that will be published occasionally. The writer brings through these columns the stories of the people of Jammu.
Conflict leaves deeper scars on the intellect of young people and these scars go largely invisible in life—constantly impacting the emotional dynamics of a society. In Jammu and Kashmir the 1980-90s generation particularly grew up under the constant impact of this conflict. It was more visible at some places than others but it was pertinently painful for everyone.
A path to rejuvenation should start by identifying stories of survival, resilience and innovation amidst adversity. Such stories can help identify a population’s strength. These strengths should be incentivized and further cultivated. They are a society’s evolving genome in countering further conflict and building innovative development.
I met Vikas Manhas, a tour operator in my hometown Jammu and his story reminded me about what psychologists Tim Bono and Matthew Frederick said in their recent book, 101 Things I Learned in Psychology School: “The central task of adulthood is integrity.”
Manhas’ solutions to his life are simple but express a remarkable sense of integrity and social responsibility. Originally from the hilly town of Bhaderwah, about 180 km from Jammu, Manhas’ personal mission of visiting the families of martyred soldiers around India offers a unique perspective on conflict resolution, border town economy and experiential tourism.
Finding kinship, strength and cultivating empathy and compassion amidst tragic turn of events, his story stands in an ironic contrast to innumerable tales of pent-up trauma, unresolved post traumatic disorders and sadistic dispositions that turn into destructive tendencies.
The question obviously arises about why Manhas thought the way he thought and how he found hope amidst such despair!
7 PYRES OF MARTYRS
Manhas was 17 when while visiting his ancestral town of Bhaderwah in 1994, he witnessed the cremation of seven soldiers martyred in an ambush by militants. In those days of no mobile phones and limited road connectivity, the soldiers’ families weren’t able to attend their last rites. It was only after the Kargil war that the bodies of martyred soldiers started to reach home for cremation, said Manhas.
The incident left a deep impact on the teenager’s mind and he decided that he would visit their families one day.
“But those days there was not much information available. After a few days I could collect newspapers but the names of the martyred soldiers weren’t disclosed in any newspaper.”
Since that tragedy in Bhaderwah, thirty years have passed and in these decades Manhas has visited more than 1,000 families of martyred soldiers all over India—sharing their inspiring stories with the public on social media, bringing hope, warmth and kinship to the bereaved families and in the process he has unwittingly created a unique ecosystem that connects the public with its heroes.
And this self-supported mission has also turned into an amazing model of experiential tourism because sometimes on demand Manhas takes his clients who hail from around India, on tours to the families of the martyrs. Manhas refuses to call it “tourism” and maintains that such trips adhere to the highest standards of dignity and nationalism. Imagine the cheer and warmth a group of young people can bring to an old bereaved couple, a lonely aging widow of a martyr or a young widow with little kids.
AN ALL-NIGHT’S FIGHT
For those born in the 1980s in Jammu and its wider far flung regions like Bhaderwah, incidents of threat and violence were a comparably very common event than what’s it’s today.
I too remember how any bomb blast would trigger further panic during every upcoming national festival. There would be fights between parents and teachers in school about sending children to national day events because of such fears. Roads would turn deserted with only armed soldiers visible on the roads.
“Such things impact you a lot. More so when you are young,” said Manhas, remembering how those days bomb blasts in Jammu were more common. And many curious youngsters including him would visit sites of destruction in the aftermath of the blast.
Right from his early childhood, Manhas had seen times of tension in Bhaderwah. There were no mobile phones or internet then but the communities were closely connected and he would also regularly hear about incidents of violence in some or the other far flung villages of Bhaderwah from his relatives and friends.
He’s reminiscent about how wedding processions (barats) which traditionally would leave home only by evening for a night wedding, started seeing morning weddings to ensure that the bride and the bridegroom can return home in the safety of the daytime.
“All this was like a big cultural shock for me,” said Manhas.
“Somewhere these things leave a negative impact on you. I think almost everyone in my generation was impacted by it. In many cases it may not be visible; many people wouldn’t have been able to express it.”
Manhas’ village in Bhaderwah was attacked multiple times—his younger paternal uncle, Randir Manhas’ home in Sarthangal village was attacked by 30-40 armed men on 5 November 1992.
“Those were the days of foreign mercenaries. My chacha, his daughters and some people of the village fought the whole night with those terrorists. As dawn started to break, the terrorist fled but not before burning down our house. Our everything got burnt but we were able to save our lives because we had fought the whole night,” said Manhas.
PURPOSE HEALS
Policymaking, governance, social well-being and mental health parameters are cross-cutting for a generation whose existential problems aren’t anymore related to food and shelter. Purpose is going to become an important component of this generation’s life and this purpose would be determined by what meets their growth needs. This would make overcoming trauma, achieving well-being and achieving an altruistic disposition in life important for wider peace and development.
It’s important to identify and promote such models of work as the one discovered by Manhas. They could be different in design but their spirit would be governed by a close connection between the individual aspirations and social well-being and greater problem solving.
Hungarian-American psychiatrist, Thomas S. Szasz has said, “There is no mental illness; there are only problems in living.” Bono and Frederick write in their book that Szasz would argue that “minds can be sick only in the sense that jokes are sick or economies are sick.”
“Psychological problems are properly recognized as deviations from social norms or ‘Problems in living,’ not as illnesses. In medicalizing such problems, we sidestep important questions of society and morality.”
FOOTNOTE: Gurnal Studio, a countryside research studio and writer’s retreat in Jammu foothills is the brainchild of journalist Venus Upadhayaya. Under it, Venus is writing a series of stories based on her memoirs and encounters with amazing people in her wider ancestral region of Jammu. These stories are a continuity of her three-year-old campaign, “Hum Honge Kamyab—Creating Hope at Home.” Write to her at gurnal.studio@gmail.com