Today, is the day, after we here in Delhi and its adjoining cities, such as Gurgaon, had cast our votes. And no, there would be no time to catch one’s breath and thank the good Lord that the curtain had been drawn on this puppet-show, because that’s entirely out of the question. Over the last two months, the talk of elections has reached a deafening high-water mark where, wherever you go, everyone, as in everyone, (your hair-stylist—for long the person who dexterously wields the scissors over your dwindling tresses—is addressed so, the many guards who watch over your office building, keeping an eye on the neighbourhood, cab drivers, table attendants, flight crew, club members and many more who till now, you know for years on end, and yet the only exchange was a telegraphic smile accompanied by a quick hello) has to talk politics! Everyone usually has a carved-in-stone opinion, and it seems that this time round, there’s a bug, a virus in the air, where in-reflex, postulations have to be aired. Fine, initially you lend a polite ear, and when the person who had cornered you, would go on and on, about our complex political terrain, quite unaware that your feet had grown fidgety, wanting to make a brisk exit, you’d finally tell the political expert that run you must lest you lose your job. Bosses are not exactly known for being accommodating, right?! That’s what they call lying through the teeth, I think. And if that wasn’t the case, believing you would quietly sip your cappuccino at the nearby café, without having to hear any more election-centric conversation, then one should have been sensible enough to have instant coffee at home. Co-coffee drinkers at the adjoining tables had their own share of inferences, assessments, beliefs…and they clearly needed to be energetically put forth, across the table for everyone to hear; unless the ears were shielded by earplugs! Now this being the morning of Sabbath Sunday, the day after elections, as already mentioned, I think there would be some peace and quiet, hopefully till tea-time.
What, on earth, has gotten into us, the million-rupee question?! Switch on any news channel and one would be doing so, at one’s own peril. One might as well think that the world had come to a complete halt since the only news beamed into our faces was of vote banks, how the poll trajectory in this constituency was on the plump and prosperous side, compared to the electoral hopes of the other party. The ballot box, had thus, become tubby with super-abundant votes, might definitely need to be reinforced. The way TV anchors and panelists were delivering a tirade, flying off the handle, if their views were not conferred to, or for that matter, even when there was no murmur of dissent. After all, over the years, news shows had descended into slamming matches where foaming from the mouth, going blue-in-the-face, was the norm. How else could one hammer one’s point of view for posterity?! The less said about the promising commercials being played out by whichever party! The sparkling pledges of employment for one and all, the with-immediate-effect elimination of poverty, post-promoted to power, senior citizens with possibly half broken teeth and a limping walk, all geared up to acquiring strong-as-an-ox bodies—the oath for free miraculous healthcare, so absolute. Politics, now about marketing! Yet, for those who were not being brainwashed by these bulletins, pledging economic prosperity leading to a nation that would stride to better and bigger heights, there was social media. Yes, “mainstream media”, had become redundant. Was as much sought after like a, “hole in the head”. This time round, YouTubers, Podcasters, Instagramers, and the more free-flowing social handle X were pulling the strings, were at the wheel. So, if one Insta Short came up with 1,000 more thumbs up than the rival “channel” then note, without a shadow of doubt, had a winning candidate rearing to be crowned, so s/he could make good her/his promises, and with no further wait, deliver the goods. A few weeks ago, while responding to the ring of the mobile with a screen flashing Raj Babbar’s, Sachin Tendulkar’s names, for half a minute being perplexed was quite valid. Take the call and a recorded voice of the said celebrity was ebulliently extolling the virtues of his party and how megastar life was being readily swapped for a life of service. Sure enough, film-stars, cricketers have in the past as well, as in the early nineties and even eighties, been pulled into the political melee to bring out the star-struck crowds, that too, without a second thought, would straight away vote for a Hema Malini, Kangana Ranaut and Navjot Singh Sidhu… By and large, these leading lights cut out all the boring bits, starting with duty. This election-centric stretch has, like never before, been assessing effortlessly to huge swathes of the electronic cosmos, heavily influencing the scroller, the swiper, the texter, the tweeter, in whichever direction it caught one’s eye. (Yes, yes, even two-year old-babies masterfully tap away at a smart phone. A sign of India gone top-to-bottom digital, since even an illiterate labourer could insert background music to a video clip or “friend and follow” on any platform…) Ah yes, since my space is fast running out, have to remember to touch upon how this time, for the most part, mud-slinging on news channels has been at its summit. One politician hitting the other below the belt while the other taking out a butcher’s knife to slit the throats of a handful of other netas… And so it goes endlessly, mercilessly on. Spiky-haired schoolhood brow-beating bullies pale in comparison to these leaders, legislators, lawmakers.
In a few short hours the jamboree recommences. So, we will be bombarded with larger-than-life visions of the track the exit polls are taking, framing a ringside view of who is going to form the 18th Lok Sabha. These political analysts, with their unexamined theories, steal the thunder from well-anointed astrologers who happen to be on the ballot bandwagon as well, holding tight to their crystal ball, which undoubtedly takes on different shades of light depending on the forecast of the political pundits. As they say, let the show begin!