The increasing number of suicide cases in coaching establishments reflects the trend of high expectations with inadequate capability.
New Delhi
A few years back, a colleague brought his 22-year-old son to me, seeking advice on the best opportunities for the young lad. After a long interaction with him, it appeared that his dreams were not really synchronised with his capability. He had cousins who were highly placed in the private sector, and he wanted to be part of that crowd. That was the pot of gold he desired. I explained to him that his cousins had worked their way up and struggled a great deal to reach their present positions. Thousands of young men and women graduate each year from the various technical and management institutes, and most, in their first assignment, are paid very low wages.
For instance, most graduates from tier two institutes, start very modestly, earning about Rs 3 lakh a year. And these are the engineering graduates. The ones in the commerce stream, start even lower. The wages are in terms of CTC (cost to company) and not take home pay. These kids, during their initial working years, shared accommodation and had a difficult time making both ends meet, but they persevered and were now doing reasonably well in their respective firms, with quite a few surpassing their peers from the top institutes. But they had to go through the grind and prove themselves.
Limited talent with high expectations is like a mirage, which is bound to disappoint. Too many parents and their wards are afflicted with this syndrome. The pressure that this generates is tremendous and those who are psychologically weaker, could take the extreme step and attempt to take their own lives, rather than be viewed as failures in the eyes of their parents, of society and in terms of their own hopes and aspirations, especially when they view the wide gulf that exists between them and their more talented peers. The same attitude makes many parents in Bharat send their wards to the US, UK and other developed economies, hoping for a better life. Many sell their land to realise this dream. This is not confined to Bharat but to the entire sub-continent. Once across the ocean, most find this dream crumbling and find it difficult to get back to their own country for fear of being ridiculed. Some take to crime and drugs and need rehabilitation. I interviewed an Indian lady based in the UK, who was looking after some of these cases. The common refrain which came out from them, she told me, was “with what face can I go back to India”. Yes, there are some success stories, but these are rare. Most find themselves working in low-end jobs—but even this lot is not prepared to go back to their motherland. Their folks back home are unaware of the miserable conditions their wards are living in, especially because most came from more influential backgrounds back home. The sad reality is that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hard work and talent is still the sine quo non of success.
The increasing number of suicide cases in coaching establishments in Kota and elsewhere, reflects this trend—high expectations with inadequate capability. This is a competitive world and entry to the better colleges and institutes is solely merit-based. Putting a child through coaching classes in the hope of making the grade is a chimera which is bound to disappoint. For the coaching institutes, it is a commercial venture and they will attempt to take the maximum number of students, based on their capacity and not necessarily based on talent. So we will have a mix of students, from the upper end of the ladder to the very lowest rung, and those at the bottom of the scale tend to get an inferiority complex. But expectations from their parents, who have spent a considerable part of their earnings to give their child a better start in life, remain unrealistically high.
Simply blaming the coaching institutes will achieve little. These are profit making ventures and not social-cause NGOs.
Ultimately, the responsibility rests with both parents and their wards. There needs to be higher levels of personal interactions within families and both parents and their wards need to be sensitive and open minded about the work choices available, which may not be necessarily aligned to the technical and management coaching classes and institutes.
Television debates have veered around to the need for psychological support staff in such institutes. This is a mere palliative and will achieve little. Blaming fellow students for keeping aloof from this crowd is meaningless. It has nothing to do with caste, colour race or creed, but follows the normal human pattern of people with similar capability, tending to stick together. Bullying may be a part of the problem, but in my interaction with a large number of students, this aspect is overplayed and there are adequate remedies available to the students to seek justice.
So, what needs to be done? At the society level, we need to redefine success. Becoming a doctor, an engineer or doing well in the corporate sector, is certainly a matter of pride. But there are many fields which children can excel in, and society needs to be appreciative of multiple work choices which can be exercised. Private enterprise, the agriculture sector, social service and a myriad of other opportunities are calling out to these young men and women. They could be artists, artisans, educationists et al, and this combined whole will give to the students a better choice to align themselves with their inherent capability.
Can parents be more supportive of their wards? Theoretically yes, but the practical aspect is that many parents see their children with rose-tinted glasses. Some live in extreme poverty, and desire a better life for their children—a life they never had. That is understandable. There is no golden wand which can address this problem in its entirety. But changing the way society looks at what success means, could be a possible long-term solution. After all, a look at the Padma awards given during the last few years, shows how common Indians have excelled in various fields.
Maj Gen Dhruv C. Katoch is an Army veteran. He is currently, Director, India Foundation.