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Don’t bust yourself, slay your inner demon

LifestyleDon’t bust yourself, slay your inner demon

The absurdity of it all seems obvious and absurd in hindsight, but that’s the thing about life. We focus on short-term goals and then lose sight of the more important issues. In my case, the goal was to take a break in Thailand towards the end of the year.

It was something that I looked forward to and I had decided months earlier. As a publisher, I have the final say when my company releases a book, and we always go big with the launches.

However, I was one of three co-authors of a book released by an international publisher in September, and we had a three-city book tour. Let me put it diplomatically and say that the authors, the publisher, the publicist, and the venues all got their way to some extent. Along side the book launches, I also got involved in organising workshops.

Getting a collaborator on board was more difficult than I bargained for, but I didn’t want to give up. I felt that would mean an admission of failure. The stress of the launch and workshops reignited my back pain, but I endured without overt signs of distress. There was no respite as plans unravelled – there were organisational snafus, flight cancellations and bundhs (two in the same week).

I had intended that after the book tour, I would soak in the coolth in the hills of the Nilgiris, where I would also enjoy a blissful musical party at a friend’s cottage and the literature festival. But at the end of the fortnight, I was running on empty, and cancelled the plans. My exhaustion-addled brain couldn’t help me make the right choices.

Having stayed back, instead of relaxing, I took on a new writing project. The work was high profile and tempting. And while it demanded an intense amount of attention, I figured it would be over in a couple of months and it never hurts to have extra money for a vacation. The creative process is very draining and when one is a hired hack and must create on demand, the job becomes gruelling.

I wanted to wrap up the project before I went on holiday, so the deadline became shorter. I barely surfaced for meals and sleep in my fierce determination to complete the work. The job got done but I nearly missed the flight. No kidding. We were supposed to fly out on a Monday, and I had a relaxed Sunday.

I was browsing at a bookstore when I got a call that my airport pick-up was in 5 hours. That’s when I realised with shock that my flight was on Monday early morning, just after midnight on Sunday. Had I not been alerted by the call I would have perhaps realised it too late.

I now had mere hours to grab what I needed and do all the other stuff one has to do when away for two weeks. And I also had to tell the hotel about needing a room a day earlier. Having forgotten to pack anything warm to wear at the airport, I shivered for three hours and on board, I was forced to use the airplane blanket. I put myself through a whole lot of stress in search of relaxation. In time, the sea and the sun restored my spirits.

One day, we went up to the Phra Phutta Ming Mongkol Eknakiri or Big Buddha of Phuket. The 148-foot-tall white statue is an eye-catching silhouette in the skyline. The white cloud dappled in the clear blue sky is a breath-taking frame for the statue. There are fabulous smaller statues of the Buddha in other poses, Ganesha and Garuda. The Buddha’s pose of Maravijaya here is oft-repeated in Thai sculpture – it is the ‘victory over Mara’ (demons).

Mara is a symbol of inner temptations, particularly one’s ego, which acts as a hindrance on the journey to enlightenment. It struck me that the Mara that one has to overcome is oneself. In my pursuit of success and relaxation, I had missed the trees for the woods.

PS: ‘Seven Minutes Happy Meditation’ is offered free to visitors at the Big Buddha temple. The soothing intonations of the monk and simple technique seem to let the breeze carry away our worries. On the way down, for a small donation, a senior monk will tie a string bracelet – ‘Sai Sin’ – around your wrist to bring good luck.

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