Shift has to be in a way wherein we nurture our children—both male and female.
The recent brutal rape and murder of Priyanka Reddy, the 26-year-old veterinary doctor at Shadnagar (Telangana), that shook the collective consciousness of the nation, resonated throughout the National Women’s Summit held at Koneru Lakshmaiah Education Foundation, one of the top-most universities in Vijaywada, Andhra Pradesh, on 27 and 28 December.
The theme of the two-day summit was “women’s empowerment”. Renowned women leaders from various walks of life expressed their thoughts regarding various pressing issues that were staring our women in the face. They were anguished at the several events unfolding in the country, causing irreparable damage to women’s dignity. The dignitaries emphasised the need to make women self-reliant and confident, and empower them for a multi-dimensional growth of the society.
A thought crossed my mind while listening to the power-packed speeches. Why do we have an underlying problem with the treatment of our women? A just and evolved society understands an individual’s right—whether born a man or a woman—to exercise his/ her own choice without fear and favour, and without being discriminated against on the basis of gender. Such a society creates an environment conducive to unlocking the inherent potential in an individual, so that it is channelised appropriately to herald a change that s/ he desires. In an empowered society a woman is self-reliant, and has the ability to navigate through challenging situations. She participates in the development process and contributes in a meaningful way to all around her.
The Indian Constitution guarantees all this and much more. It enshrines in its Preamble, Fundamental Rights, Fundamental Duties and Directive Principles, the principle of gender equality. It grants equality to women and empowers the State to adopt measures that provide equal rights and opportunities to women. India declared the year 2001 as the year of women’s empowerment (Swashakti), which was incidentally the year in which our National Policy on Women’s Empowerment also came into existence. Lot of water has flown under the bridge since then. The successive governments over the years have crafted women-friendly policies and enacted well-meaning legislations offering greater opportunities to women, in a bid to emphasise their support to women’s emancipation.
Regardless of all this, the status of women in our society has not changed dramatically. We only go by the letter of our Constitution; its spirit has not really sunk deep into our collective psyche. Our society always had double standards where women were concerned. When Prince Siddharth left his house in 5th century BC, leaving behind his wife and a newborn baby to seek enlightenment, he was worshipped. He became Gautama Buddha, and rightly so. There is no doubt about his contribution to humanity and the spiritual inheritance of this country and the world at large. But when the 16th century sage MeeraBai left her home pretty much for the same reason, the entire royal household and the State were up in arms against her. Eventually, they poisoned her.
The situation hasn’t changed much. If a woman is molested, she is inviting it. It is her skirt that is to be blamed and not the lust of the man who dared to ravage her vanity. If she follows her heart, she is being selfish and has to pay a price for her “selfishness”.
To understand this complicated mindset, we need to have a closer look at the role assigned to women in the society. Society looks upon her as a service provider. We believe that she essentially is a caregiver and has also conditioned her to believe that that is her primary role. Rest all is secondary. She may be an excellent professional. However, when she falls short of her household duties, which may happen to any professional who is under work pressure, society is harsh on her, never on him. That is precisely why we come across so many women professionals crumbling under pressure, perpetually trying to balance their work and family life.
In this context, I remember this Marathi movie called Umbartha (threshold), which hit the silver screen in the early 1980s. It was about Sulabha Mahajan, enacted by the late Smita Patil, who steps out of her house much against the wishes of her family to work as a superintendent in a women’s reformatory. A socially conscientious citizen, Sulabha wants to make a difference to the lot of oppressed and traumatised women. However, due to her no-nonsense attitude, she has to resign from her job. She returns home to find out that her husband has got involved with another woman. She leaves her house once again in search of a new dream.
Flip the coin. Had it been Sulabha’s husband who had set out on a social mission, the society would have hailed him for his “noble” work. More importantly, everyone would have expected Sulabha to wait patiently for her husband’s return. We do have different yardsticks while measuring a woman’s worth. All her other qualities get eclipsed because of this caregiver mindset.
Do we have to typecast “her” as a caregiver only. She may be better placed at her work and may earn more than the male members of her family. She may want to play the role of the provider of the family, and that does not mean that she is less caring or loving. It simply means that she is better at a certain job. In such a situation, shouldn’t the others in the family fulfill the caregiving duties? But we put her through the mill and expect her to respond courteously to, sometimes, unreasonable demands placed on her. Worse, she herself takes immense pride in being called a super hero excelling on all fronts. That is the power of conditioning.
Are our women really empowered? I would say “no”, not until they themselves change their mindset. Agreed, women are taking rapid strides in each and every field and profession, and are holding different positions—right from train and truck drivers to the more sophisticated engineers, doctors, pilots and CEOs. But we are talking of a landscape where the women of every day, who form a large majority, still hesitate to spend their own money without informing their husbands. There is nothing wrong in consulting your partner, but such expenditure has a different connotation when it is accompanied by a feeling of guilt. That is a sign of subjugation.
A woman is a caregiver, for sure. But she is much more than a caregiver. Beyond all she is a person, a human being, who has a mind of her own. She was never the weaker sex. You cannot brand someone weak basis just one parameter, which is the physical strength. She was conditioned to believe that she was weak and hence inferior, and that process of indoctrination still continues.
Our mindset and social values need to change drastically. There should be a paradigm shift in the way in which we nurture our children—both male and female. The seeds of equality need to be sown in early childhood and in every household. The mindset that a female child is a liability and a male child is an asset has to vanish because that indeed, is the starting point of all evils that plague women today.
Having said that, society can neither disempower nor empower a woman or any one for that matter. Empowerment is a mindset. It has to emanate from the core of one’s heart. It is the woman who should get awakened to her immense potential. She must have the longing in her heart to make a difference to herself. Means like education, power, position, status may lead her on to that path but she has to walk the last mile herself.
Recently I met a woman who was in her mid-fifties and who was training to be a scuba diver. Fascinated with her decision to take up scuba diving after having spent half her life in domesticity, I asked her what made her choose a road less travelled. She said she needed to get rid her fears and inhibitions. She tracked the roots of her mindset to her protective environment that did not encourage experimenting with life. There were more don’ts than dos. She recollected the time when she would sit on the beach staring forlornly at her brothers enjoying watersports. She could not do that because she was told she was weakling. That destroyed her confidence, but not any more. Last summer, while holidaying in Lakshadweep islands, she tried snorkeling. Scuba diving was just the next step. The change was transformative.“I emerged from the ocean a courageous person,” she said.