Actor Mandira Bedi is a fitness icon. But behind the six-pack is a woman who is still searching for true happiness. So, has she cracked it yet? No, she hasn’t. But she believes that she is headed in the right direction. In an interaction with Anindya Tripathi, the actor explains how she has always done things outside her comfort zone and yet found peace with herself.
Q. What prompted you to write the book, Happy For No Reason? Was there ever a plan?
A. No, there wasn’t any plan to start with. People generally view social media as such a negative thing, but for me, it turned out to be positive. This book happened because of social media. Someone from Penguin followed me on Instagram and approached me to write a book. Initially, the book was supposed to be on fitness but we soon realised that there is a lot that I wanted to share about my life and journey. There is more to me than just fitness and the book is all about that. My bio on the Instagram handle read: “Happy for no reason”. I decided to use this for the book.
Q. We have seen you donning so many different hats—actor, cricket presenter, fitness enthusiast, etc. If you have to choose one, which one has been the most rewarding for you?
A. When I look back at my life, I see myself always pushing the boundaries. I have always done things outside my comfort zone and have never regretted my decisions. Wonderful things have happened to me, which have gone on to become my reality. Everything in my life has made me who I am today. I have been equally crazy for all of these aspects when I was doing Shanti, which shaped me as an actor. Cricket added something else. It has been a set of very rewarding good years. When fitness happened, I gave a lot of my time, commitment and intent to fitness and it became a part of who I am. With utmost gratitude, I look at my life having taken the most blessed and divine turns these last 25 years in the entertainment industry. I have lived life, going with the flow and that has brought me to the only goal I ever hoped to get to—being happy from within.
Q. In your book, you mention intricate details of your pregnancy. Be it being a mother at 37, or post-partum depression. Was it an easy task to do?
A. First, the book talks about a lot of things that people don’t generally talk about. I have written about everything in a truthful sense. Be it about my marriage and the very turbulent period I had, people generally like to gloss over such things. Regarding my pregnancy, I have been extremely honest as nobody warns you or tells about post-partum depression and that is so unfortunate. I have bared my soul. In fact, my husband and mum, who hadn’t read the book in the manuscript stage, were quite surprised. While my mum thought I had shared too much, my husband thought I should have shared more. When my son was born, the initial few weeks all I did was cry; I cried all the time and couldn’t even understand the reason behind all those emotions. When you are pregnant, you feel complete, there is a lot of optimism because of all the hormones, etc, but after the baby, the journey gets difficult. Thankfully, my husband took all my crazy mood swings in his stride and I was eventually okay with all the support I had from family and friends. My biggest take away from this experience is that you have to tell people and reach out for help. People tell you that you should fall in love with your baby, but I did not. In fact, I was freaking out thinking about how big a responsibility I have.
The first 40 days after giving birth are the most difficult as I was asked not to exercise, so the moment those days were over, I went back to my fitness routine and that was of immense help. I am so proud of losing that extra 22 kilos of weight in six months. The fact that I gave myself a direction and a goal to shed off those extra kilos, helped me deal with my post-partum as well.
Q. Any advice on modern relationships, since you have talked in detail about the tumultuous time in your own marriage?
A. I feel tolerance levels have gone down and people quit very easily. It just takes some effort to work things through and most people today are not inclined to do that. People, if they see something not working out, just leave. In my book, I have written how in relationships people have these boxes, and, trust me, no one can tick all 10 of them. No one is perfect. But if you see someone even ticking six of the 10, they are a keeper. One should give a little time, effort and intent to work things out. In my case, my husband has always been a great encouragement to me. We have gone through some rough patches as well. There was a time when I was busier than him. That was a good part of our married life. But couple of years ago, there was a time when he got as busy as me, and that was not just something that I was used to; it was also something that he wasn’t used to. So, it kind of changed the balance. And that’s when things went a little haywire, and we fought a lot because suddenly I was not getting the support that I was used to. It upset the balance, till we found a new equilibrium. I didn’t talk to him for one month—that’s a long time to not to talk to the person you are living with. In my memoir, I haven’t held back anything.
Q. What is your stand on therapy and the stigma surrounding it?
A. The first time that I opted for therapy, it was about 20 years ago and my mom kept saying, “What? Why are you seeking therapy? You can talk to me or a friend!” I said a clear “no” to it. I said that I needed to talk to a professional who can hear me out in an unbiased manner. Because that is what therapy is, someone listening to you in an unbiased and professional manner. Twenty years later, I have tried spiritual therapy, energies and hypnotherapy too. Hypnotherapy has worked out the best for me as I opted for it to understand my crazy obsession with sugar. I feel one should just seek help whenever it is needed and the stigma will eventually be gone.
Q. What inspires you every day?
A. I am one of those crazy people who loves Mondays, I wake up in the morning all charged up thinking the coming day is full of possibilities. I love my routine and habit and it inspires me every day. I still have a pair of jeans that I have from when I was 17 years old, and I still can fit into that. That’s my motivation. I keep small goals for myself and I just try and work for it. I would advise everybody to have an outfit that motivates them and try and work for the body they want.
Q. What is fashion for you?
A. It has changed over the years, but fashion to me is not about following the latest trends. I like to wear clothes that suit my body type and personality. One should feel good in what they wear. Confidence is the key.
Mandira’s new book, ‘Happy For No Reason’ (Penguin), is co-authored by Satyadev Barman.