It’s that time of the year when I reflect on whether I’ve learned or done something new. For several years now, this has been my goal. I’ve learned new languages, dance and music. For most people, vacations are a time for novel experiences, and activities during holidays have often helped me overcome my fears. On a recent trip to Japan, I had a wholly unexpected moment of self-discovery.
But first, come with me on a trip back in time to Cavelossim Beach, where we watched the last sunset of 2008. I realised I hadn’t done anything new that year. It was already December 31, and in a few hours, the year would fade away taking my self-set goal with it. I didn’t want to admit defeat, even to myself. That’s when the answer floated right in front of me. My eyes followed the parasailers in the Arabian Sea, and I impulsively announced that I wanted to try it. My family was surprised, as I wasn’t then one for physical adventure—especially anything involving heights. My discomfort with heights likely began on a school excursion when a Ferris wheel malfunctioned. I was stuck with a hysterical classmate whom I had to hold on to, to stop her from jumping off.
That warm December evening on a Goan beach, my family encouraged me, and soon I found myself in a tandem harness with my ever-supportive son, who was then a teenager. I tried to listen to the instructions, but my nervousness distracted me. When we were up and away, I initially kept my eyes tightly shut. My son, meanwhile, was exuberantly hooting and hollering, while I kept begging him to stay quiet. Then, I sensed a sudden change—the speed had reduced, the wind had stopped whooshing, and we were floating. I opened my eyes and saw the blue sea and the white sails of ships far below. It was both serene and spectacular, and my fear evaporated.
That experience has become my go-to memory to summon calmness and reinforce positivity. It helped me overcome my fear of heights to some extent. While I won’t be skydiving or bungee jumping anytime soon, I enjoyed a hot air balloon ride without hyperventilating and braved the rapids while river rafting.
This year, my novel experience was at an onsen in Osaka. I was eager to visit the much-touted hot springs resort towns that have long been popular tourist draws for Japanese and foreign tourists. I found this beautiful woodcut by artist Chikanobu Yoshu ‘Ikaho Onsen Hanei no Zu’ commissioned as an advertisement. We couldn’t fit a mountain resort into our schedule but by sheer chance, our hotel in Osaka had an onsen. I was looking forward to using it until I realised I’d have to be completely nude in a communal area. Swimsuits aren’t allowed, nor can you use a towel as a cover-up.
While some onsens are used by both men and women, our hotel had separate onsens for men and women. Despite this, it took me a while to persuade myself to go, and I chose a quiet time and entered gingerly. I won’t go into the elaborate details of an onsen; in retrospect, it seems to me that each stage is meant to relax the body and mind. You shed your worries when you shed your clothes before a preparatory bath. There were only two other women when I went, one of whom cheerily welcomed me and scooted over to make space in the indoor onsen or steam room. When I got into the outdoor onsen with hot water, I tried to stay far from the woman who was already there. After showering at one of the rows of seats, I ventured into the dry area. I took my cue from the other two women, who were pampering their skin with an impressive array of products. Only after completing this soothing self-care routine do you dress and face the world again.
Though I remained hesitant and shy, I also experienced a remarkable sense of liberation. The two women, who were friends, chatted merrily and were utterly unselfconscious about their nude state. It made me reflect on how much undue attention we give to body image. Why do we shame our bodies or those of others? Round, pear, square, thin, fat, tall, short—whatever the shape or size, we can make the best of what we have by keeping it healthy and fit. Perhaps everyone should experience an onsen at least once in their lifetime to truly embrace their body with love. It could help shift the concept of body consciousness from a purely physical focus to a more philosophical self-awareness.
Sandhya Mendonca, author, biographer, and publisher, casts a female gaze at the world in this column.